Last week I had a conversation with my twin brother, who, unfortunately, works for one of my competitors in the race for world domination. I haven't spoken with him for some time; in fact, I haven't talked with him much since I imprisoned him in the reality simulator to take his place at the GNU Public Dictatorship to find out what they already knew about Jacob Gehris. Those were the days. As you all know well, Jacob was the purported inventor of the brad, even though he just popularized the modern manufacturing methods. For years the Parent Corporation led people to believe that he was an unfortunate individual caught in the middle of a conspiracy of secret societies, but we knew better. We knew he was as evil as they come and his motivations were not for the benefit of society. But I digress... those days are behind me as I have sworn off evil office products. It was just fun to relive the glory days, even if I was on the wrong side.
Anyway, my brother and I discussed many things and I discovered that he is still loyal to family, and that now that I am clean he is willing to help me as long as it doesn't violate his non-compete clause in his employment contract at the GPD. He used his influence to get the US government to recognize my patented churros, and he has used the GPD's resources to encourage people to stop making bootleg churros, at least where mine are being sold. With a bit more revenue from my churros I'll be able to do more to get ready to rule the world! Additionally I have received more correspondence than I cared to open expressing support and solidarity for me and my pinkilessness, and I have decided that my pinkilessness is not going to keep me from ruling the world. It may mean that I have to rid the world of some vocal anti-pinkiless hooligans, but I won't have to destroy the whole world! "Natasha" assures me that this is better, as I will be able to impress the world by stamping out anti-pinkilessness without rendering the world incapable of joining me afterwards! Things are definitely looking up!
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