Adjusting my expectations

My wife has been trying to convince me since I posted last week that the implicit threat at the end (that if you don't unite behind me I may have to destroy you) was poorly chosen, and that I should not have mentioned it at all, even if it was my intent.  Moreover, she has finally convinced me that instead of growing morose and plotting to destroy the world I should adjust my expectations.

I had expected that as soon as I provided myself as an option that people around the world would flock to me and beg me to rule them.  As it turns out, however, an obscure low-budget film that insults a popular world religion can apparently incite more passion than can a well-constructed and witty blog about me.  Perhaps it has to do with my pinkilessness, but I hate to revel in my disability.  I only mention it because so many of the things I have tried to do to improve the world by having me control it seem to be taking longer than I imagine that it would take a similar-but-not-pinkiless version of me.  If only I could convince my twin brother to abandon the GNU Public Dictatorship and attempt to rule the world himself I would have an experiment that could confirm or contradict my assumptions, but he seems to buy into the ridiculous model of the GPD.  I had also expected to make more money off sales of my patented churros, but I suspect that someone has been creating bootleg churros and flooding the market with these knock-off versions of mine.  I have filed a lawsuit to get them to stop, but I suspect that the judge found out about my pinkilessness and won't even use government resources to investigate my claims that someone is making churros similar to my patented ones.  He had the nerve to suggest in his ruling that since I had "no proof" that these knock-off churros exist and since the US government does not recognize my patent he could do nothing to help me.  I guess this is just one more reason to rule the world.

Anyway, I have adjusted my expectations.  I no longer expect the US government to support my bid for world domination, and I no longer expect you to unite behind me without me doing something to impress you.  I know I have made it clear that I won't count votes, but if any of you have any suggestions as to what would impress you, please don't hesitate to contact me and let me know.  "Natasha" tells me that destroying you might impress you but that it would leave you unable to support me, so I'm looking for other methods of impressing you.