Ever since I declared my opposition to evil office products I have been working hard to garner the support I need to take over the world and keep everyone safe from the evils of the Parent Corporation, the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch, the New Company, and offshoots such as the Reformed Brotherhood of the Hole Punch. I am no stranger to the damage these hole punches, brads, and evil stickers are responsible for, and what's more, I am no stranger to the tactics the purveyors of these evils use to trick unsuspecting people into becoming dependent on them. I have, as yet, not aligned myself with any of the other anti-brad or anti-hole punch movements as I considered them imperfect. As my wife and I have begun our own quest for world domination, however, we have realized that if we do not join forces against evil that evil will gain the upper hand before we can establish ourselves fully. The solution we have come to, reluctantly, is to submit an application for membership in the GNU Public Dictatorship's Board of Dictators.
While it is certainly not our first choice, and we have had many disagreements with the GPD, "Natasha" and I have come to the conclusion that we can do more to change the world with their resources than we have been able to do alone. While it means that the purity of my movement will be adulterated, if it means that evil is disadvantaged and that I am closer to my goal of world domination I am willing to take the chance. They say they would gladly accept me if I were to join with them, so we'll see how sincere they really are!
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